School reviews: The issues

Now, now. Don't get all worked up. The majority of you are heading in the right direction. I'd say one of the greatest challenges of writing this review was separating yourself from the routine of your day--picking and choosing only that which applied to your opinion. Here were some minor issues I came across:

-Headlines that didn't suggest an opinion
-Leads that set the scene beautifully, but didn't set the tone of the review with a general opinion of the day
-detail paragraphs that rambled on and on with opinion after opinion, fact after fact, without a clear topic or point for that paragraph.
-diary syndrome (no, not diarrhea): you write ALLLLLLLL the events of your day and comment on each one---no overall sense of direction with the piece.

Hey, chin up. These might not apply to you, but check your work to see if it does. I won't force anyone to admit their errors to the rest of the class, but if you'd like to volunteer that information on your own, be my guest! It might help us (and me!) to hear what you were thinking or what your intentions were when you made that error.

Okay, okay. It's never fun to hear the bad, when there clearly WAS some good!

-many vivid, engaging reviews--another strong display of enthusiastic, inspired use of language!
-there was some really thoughtful commentary on school life and effective teacher instruction. I can't say I was as observant as some of you when I was in 8th grade. Kudos!
-personalities could be detected---cool!
- generally fair criticism, without being demeaning, over-emotional, and clumsily informal.
-many embraced the "make-believe" aspect of the assignment. It often worked highly in your favor, sounding confident and thoughtful.

So, what, if anything needs to be worked on by all? Knowing your angle. Being passionate about your angle. Finally, communicating your angle. What do I mean? Know exactly what opinion you want your audience to take away from your review, and making sure you only include details and facts that enhance, not distract, from that goal.